Wednesday, 16 March 2011

The retrospect in Death

Suddenly I started following my parents footsteps. My uncle, grandfather, my grandma, I loved her most, Sharman uncle, yes he always favored me; without any realization I was on the path well traversed by all of them. Like it or not, truth is scary when it’s chasing you. I always wanted to be different, something that I am passionate about, something that has balance of fame, money, lust and my life, Selfish? That was me. Human! Not because I always wanted something back from life, I demanded them. My efforts were not limited to passion, it was social. Driven by mobility of social strata, dignified by resurrected entropic phenomenon of sage soul & pimp my life into bull’s eyes of walls & streets. Briefing me is simpler enough to know yourself. But do you know yourself? Why not, I am an egoist megalomaniac. My multiple senses make me master of my conscience. Who do you think you are! You swellheaded creature! Diversion is detrimental. I was way ahead of my time. I was leading to death.

My life is equally useless as this discussion. Important at this point is path I’m about to follow, I am Mr. Mojo, Lennon, MJ , I am also father of nation Mahatma Gandhi, Alexander, Winston Churchill, I never wanted to mention Newton, his laws sucks through ages, Hitler and Stalin reminds of some power I’m about to gain, I was nobody slowly evolving into Somebody. Suddenly chains of shackles of mind seem to be broken. Loads felt gravity-free, diversions seem to be bent-free. I was on a road travelled by even by Jesus & Krishna. My state has no caste, no religion, I was atheist, I have no name and I am in going into deep meditation, my senses were going deep into long, prolonged derangement to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us. I was on the road most travelled but less attained. For me, absolute freedom exists.

I was happy, happy to be no-one, happy that I am finally me going on the road of liberation. People who were once known by different nouns like family members, friends, relatives, neighbors etc etc were lamenting. In life, as I tired of living, of the aches and pains both physical and emotional associated with the aged, I became convinced that once I left the world of the living I would not, could not, be coerced into ever coming back. I was dead and I knew it. A general feeling of indifference, which I’d associated with the acedia others had come to associate with me, washed over me. In living I had feared death; yet in dying, despite the crushing weight of too many regrets, I feared I hadn’t lived enough. I begin to understand the meaning of life. I was always asking have I lived long enough, did I completed my tasks or kept my words. Death completed everything.

“Who are you?” Surprisingly saw a fat-ass guy who was guiding me, my soul. “Oh-ho, You are god….Finally I met god, I knew what’s other side of the life, I just needs to go back & tell them….” Mumbling stopped when that fellow shouted “I am jack”. I always knew he was Jackass. 

“I was a human like you. Now I am a messenger. I work for invariance & metastability. So, we have reached to a place called hell. I have been told to do so. I have been working for past 257years; you are my Job number 48594. Once I reach 50000, I’ll be promoted. I have acclaimed the fame of multiple….”
“But still you are not accurate after so much of experience”, I interrupted. “This is not hell, this is kind of heaven” My overconfidence worked faster than senses.

It was so clean & natural, People were laughing & playing, animals were moving freely, cool breeze almost reaches your inner being, fruits & flowers, waterfall& fishes, grasses, animals, and happiness completes the atmosphere. This can’t be hell, this is heaven, I am stupid, I shouldn’t have told him about his mistake or else he will put me back to real Hell, I liked this place.

“Hey,  hello!! I am never wrong except once case which I liked that person & intentionally kept at some undesired place. This is where you are supposed to be for some time.” He paused for a while.
“You’ll meet my master in 7mins “he said after looking in the sky.
I was waiting…still waiting…still waiting…Finally broke my nerve. After 7 days (I still don’t remember because there was no day & night but could guess from his 7mins), a old big bearded, long white clothes, overall o.k. kind of personality ( I couldn’t rate him better after the kind of wait he made me through.

Both of us were silent for another half an hour & then I started “Are you one whom I am supposed to wait for”

He nodded.

“Do you know how long I have been waiting for? I am alone for past, I don’t know how many days and I have not eatennn….. (Oops I never felt hungry) anyway, do you have slightest of idea what am I going through. I own nothing here. How can I stay?”

Master calmly came closer and put his palm on my head. It was cold & soothing.
“Being Human has remains even in deep beneath your soul. Keep Patience like waves of ponds, keep patience like eagle flying in the clear sky and Keep patience for the message of other nature beings”

“So you think I am responsible for all the chaos that’s been created. I am the one who tells lion to eat fellow timid animals; I am the one who guides small fishes in shark’s digestion process. Because we are two handed and multi brained doesn’t make us critical” I was once good in debates & extempore.

I do not remember more of the discussion as I fainted and lost my most of the memories. Later, I reached to a house, window of which was pretty strange. It was sitting by the side of a window of a wooden house located on the top of a mountain. Outside the window I could see different places of planet earth. My master said life exists there in dead form and I am a survivor from there. I can see lots and lots of Human beings. They exist in clubs and united within clubs. Their place of living looks out of the world. They lives in buildings, but not in nature, they likes themselves but not other animals of same origin. They kill tame & dumb animals. They torture weak and kill others. Their existence out of nature is diminished by their own creation of artificiality and brainless use of their dual parted brains. Their heart walls is painted with smoky color like polluting chimneys and filled with mashes of jealousy & hatred. They have many identities and division exists in relativity of parameters of religion, castes, rich, poor and supreme and weak. People just satisfy themselves I wondered, do they know themselves enough to satisfy. Nature is an existing proof of suppression of weak & timid. Forests are visible as small dots on earth. Water is exists used for draining in the sewages. Animals were made to suffer & humans were made to kill each other. Water, air & earth are no more free & safe.

“Why did you create this earth? Do you like plethora of destructive model? Do you enjoy watching all this? Do you….” I was spellbound.
“Then he said, look at that person, he was your brother & one beside him was you son. They are the part of this beautiful mass massacre of nature. You were part of that. Wrong & right are never relative, for human they are absolutely relative “Slowly I was regaining part of my memory.

Their bellicose nature felt me regret of my interpretations of a well established earth. They time & again proved me wrong and made me guilt of my ambitions of getting a world coercive enough to guide a perpetual cycle of life.
“I feel pity for them. Hell is far better than what I can experience earth from here. I never want to go back to earth for the kind of hatred and destruction that fills the nature kills the real joy of inner soul. They reside deep inside. Now I am happy not be a part of such manual beings. Death was the greatest thing that happened followed by liberalization of mind and salvation of soul. But I still feel these things could be attained in a Good happy life. Now I never wanted to go there.” Extremely ecstatic, I was.
“How do you thing perpetual life cycle goes on. You must be part of it unless you are not a part of it.”  I listened to master for the last time.

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